Self-Directed Discernment Retreat

 

The Institute for Diaconal Studies is a distinct program

that addresses specifically the mission and identity of diaconal ministry while educating men for the three-fold ministry of service

to the Word, Liturgy and Charity

Day 3 – God Forgives

 

Today I wish to taste the mercy of God—to enjoy fully the forgiveness that is God’s gift to me. I can focus, for a moment, on God’s delight in me because I am the beautiful handiwork of creation. I can accept this fact even though my guilt feels overwhelming. I am created in God’s image.

 

I also realize that forgiveness is only a reality when I freely change my behavior and thoughts. Temptations are everywhere—the sights, the sounds, the smells—my addictions to work, play and the computer.

 

When I am alone and the television remote control is all mine, I tend to…

When the house is empty, or all the other workers have gone home, I turn to my computer and…

When I see my neighbor’s beautiful car I…

When the children are unwieldy and my spouse is demanding I …

When my church asks for help I...

 

This day I will acknowledge my weakness but dwell on my goodness. I will focus on the forgiveness that has been shown to me by my family, friends and employer. How much greater is God’s love for me.

 

Forgiving God, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I long for your mercy and embrace. The thought of your cross brings me to my knees as I contemplate the depth of love you have shown to the repentant sinner. I will praise your name always—I promise to change. I will forgive others as you have forgiven me. I pray in your Son’s name, Jesus.

 

This day…

 

I will fast from dinner (Remember, follow your doctor’s orders when it comes to diet and exercise – be sure to hydrate and have small, nutritional snacks).

I will set aside alms for the poor (that I will deliver to my parish’s poor box at the end of the week).

I will enter into silence for 20 minutes in a special place.

I will open my bible and pray Psalm 36 slowly…and then pray it again even…slower.

I will seek out a priest to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

 

Two questions to ponder this day…

 

Do people see me as someone they can approach and talk to? Do I have healthy relationships with both men and women?

 

My Morning Meditation…

 

Remember your compassion and love, O Lord; for they are ages old. (Psalm 25: 6)

 

(One) spring a homeowner on the shores of Lake Michigan woke up hearing the crashing of the waves against the sea wall. He grabbed his morning coffee and moved to the deck to watch the storm. In that moment he heard the sea wall buckle. Quickly the deck on which he was standing began to collapse. He had barely enough time to grab his dog and run out the front door. As he cleared the  door, the churning waters ate his house. He had lost everything but was glad to be alive!

 

...Jesus proclaims that lack of forgiveness is as catastrophic in the spiritual realm as having our house destroyed or our land conquered. The true response to this inner spiritual darkness is forgiveness, forgiveness that is offered freely and often! Let us choose hope and forgiveness as our responses to life.

 

Lord, you are the key to my life. Open my heart that I may forgive. Cast the darkness of hatreds, grudges, and lack of forgiveness away from me, and give me a heart of love and caring.

 

- Paul Coury, C.S.S.R.,Liguori Publications 1999

 

My Evening Contemplation…

 

Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6: 36-37)

 

We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That’s the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, “You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?”

 

Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, “In the name of God you are forgiven.”

 

Lord, help me to forgive all who have hurt me.

 

- Henri Nouwen, Bread for  the Journey, 1997

 

Before I rest…

 

O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you. And I detest all of my sins, not because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend you, my God, who are all-deserving and worthy of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life.

 

Lord, now you let your servant go in peace; your word has been fulfilled: my own eyes have seen the salvation which you have prepared in the sight of every people: a light to reveal you to the nations and the glory of your people Israel.

                                                                        Luke 2: 29-32

 

Hail, holy queen, mother of mercy, our life, our sweetness, and our hope. To you do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To you do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears.

 

Turn then, most gracious advocate, your eyes of mercy toward us, and after this exile show us the blessed fruit of your womb, Jesus.

 

O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.

 

May the all-powerful Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death. Amen.

 

 

 

Institute for Diaconal Studies